Saturday 16 January 2010

Dr Kendall's Patent Homeopathic Remedies


Dr Kendall's Patent Home Cures are proud to announce the launch of their new Homeopathic Remedies Range. The first product in this new range, which is planned to expand alongside our other best-selling Home Cures, is Dr Kendall's Homeopathic Contraception.

Non gravida 30C is made from extract of guaranteed 100% pure organic Brazilian rainforest babies.

For the uninitiated, homeopathy works on the principal of like curing like or of like preventing like, as eminent homeologist Crispian Jago explains. A remedy containing babies therefore prevents pregnancy.

Conventional contraceptive pills are full of harmful, unnatural chemicals with side-effects and have a failure rate of up to 8%, which means that for every 100 times you have sex, you will get pregnant eight times. The numbers do not lie. Do you want to take that risk? Dr Kendall's Homeopathic Contraceptive pills are for every woman who cares about her body.

After harvesting, the babies are washed inside and out in spring water to guarantee the purity of the remedy. They are then processed at Kendall Laboratories in our Kendall's Baby Masher (patent pending). The concentrated extracted essence is prepared for you in pills of the finest Saccharum officinarum for your health and well-being.

Dr Kendall's Home Cures have been trusted and true for over 100 years. They are available now for online ordering. No prescription needed!

Support the 1023 campaign and the mass homeopathy overdose on January 30th.



23 comments:

  1. Typo - the link to 1023.org.uk doesn't work - should be "http://www.1023.org.uk" not "http://www.blogger.com/www.1023.org.uk"

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  2. You fail to point out that the remedy you mentioned does not contain any actual babies. It merely contains a memory of babies. That is what makes it so powerfully efficacious, of course.

    p/p Dr Kendall

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  3. @ Anonymous - fixed

    @Heresiarch - that's what I meant by 'essence'. Too implicit?

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  4. Isn't it inhumane to harvest whole babies when you need only one drop of baby to produce more contraceptive than the human race will ever need?

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  5. Do not buy this product! Rainforest babies are diluted by the excessively wet environment. Sure it is true that all homeopathic remedies work but why risk it! The NEW product is mor(m)oncide which is produced using .00000000000000001% pure mormon babies "The Driest Kind"TM, rushed to you straight from the life elevated mor(m)on desert. Get yours today! As an added BONUS you could be saving a life from polygamy, do your part today!

    Totally unnecessary
    Governmentally(sick) required legal warning
    High risk of cooties in most doses.

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  6. I've created a homeopathic cure for infertility that uses Moldovian babies, diluted to C50...great minds!

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  7. Link's still busted.

    You have: a href="www.1023.org.uk"
    You need: a href="http://www.1023.org.uk"

    Without the HTTP part, browsers think that's a relative link, local to your site, and browsers append http://tessera2009.blogspot.com/2010/01/ to the front of it.

    The final result is "http://tessera2009.blogspot.com/2010/01/www.1023.org.uk"

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  8. I heard that they were using substandard domestic babies as filler!

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  9. I think you can use just a zygote or even sperm.

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  10. @Daniel Pope,

    Sure it's humane. Once the first baby is killed and mashed, we can make "extract of dead mashed up baby" and cure the babies of their dead mashed up energy state.

    It's all very scientific and quantum.

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  11. Thank God, finally a use for all the extraneous babies.

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  12. Daniel, that's where the entertainment factor kicks in. You know, the way fishermen will sometimes stuff and mount trophy fish they have no plans to eat.

    (Sorry, TK - link still not fixed. Part of your website tag is stuck in it.)

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  13. You cruel. heartless, witch!

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  14. watch this please - If homeopathy works ... I'll drink my own piss- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1B2aFElfjE

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  15. you are all sick! Your parents should have used birthcontrol.

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  16. What a complete joke. Suckers, the lot of ya.

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  17. "Do not buy this product! Rainforest babies are diluted by the excessively wet environment."

    Surely that make them MORE effective, not less?

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  18. I think entertainment is a very important factor for kikcs in, too.

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  19. Asside from the whole concept here being JUNK at it's best and FRAUD at it's worst, the bit about an 8% failure rate on birth control pills is not right. I had sex about 3700 times with my second girlfriend and we never had a baby.
    Similar but less times with first girlfriend and yet with wife 1.0 we had a baby in about the first 40 tries and we never paid any attention to schedules (periodic or otherwise) in any of this. This is FACT

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  20. You deliver such quality thoughts. Good job. Thanks for sharing with us.


    Homeopathy Clinic in Mohali

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  21. Great Blog.. sharing nice information thanks of sharing.


    Homeopathic Products Online

    ReplyDelete