The Chocolate Serum That Isn't

A company called Ikove is advertising on its website an Acai Chocolate Age-Resisting Serum. The magic C word caught my attention.

According to the press release: 'ikove means 'keep alive' in Tupi-Guarani, an indigenous South American language, and the luxurious Ikove Acai Chocolate skincare range does just that!'

Resisting the temptation to apply some of the products to a small dying animal to see if they would indeed keep it alive, I looked at the description of the serum.

Açaí Chocolate Age-Resisting Serum
Antioxidant
This 100 percent plant-derived concentrate is formulated with antioxidant açaí and cocoa, nutrition-rich rosehip oil and revitalizing Amazonian botanicals. It protects against the negative effects of aging and the environment while at the same time deeply nourishing and moisturizing your skin. Directions: Apply to the face and neck areas that require special attention.98% certified organic 100% natural 100% vegan

Just for once, I won't do my usual tirade about anti-oxidants NOT WORKING because there is, in my eyes, a far greater sin here. The ingredients are:

Ingredients:•bertholletia excelsea (brazil nut) seed oil, •rosa aff. rubiginosa (rosehip) oil, •orbignya oleifera (babaçu) seed oil, •euterpa oleracea (açaí) fruit extract, •chamolilla recutita extract, •equisetum arvense (horsetail) extract, •calendula officinalis extract, •lavandula officinalis (lavender) extract, vegetable glycerin, bisobolol oil, •citrus reticulata (manderin) oil, •citrus aurantium dulcis (sweet orange) oil, lavandula officinalis (lavender) oil.

Have you spotted yet what's missing?

Their other choco-products - moisturizer, shampoo, conditioner, exfoliant and cleanser - include theobroma cacao L (cocoa) liquor or cocoa butter. But not this one.

There is no chocolate in the Acai Chocolate Age-Resisting Serum.

I rang the head office, which is a company called PhytoScience, and asked if there was any chocolate in it. A nice man called Chris told me that 'If there's no chocolate on the list of ingredients, there's no chocolate in it. Sorry to disappoint you'. He was very keen to tell me about acai, which was actually quite interesting. But not interesting enough to make me forget that there is no chocolate in it.

Did they just forget to mention it? Was the person writing up the ingredients list distracted by something shiny? Is it 'chocolate' in some sense that is unknown to me? Does the word 'chocolate' mean something else in Tupi-Guarani?

Not that I was thinking of spending £18.95 on a tiny bottle of serum but to promise chocolate when there is none is a crime against humanity.